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Finding the right girl for marriage

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Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. Choosing the right person to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most significant decisions a person can make. You must make this choice judiciously and not let yourself be blinded by infatuation. Think about personality, character traits and key things to have in common, such as a cultural or religious background. Common desirable traits include intelligence, strong work ethic, honesty , a sense of humor, stability, and the ability to openly communicate.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Find Perfect Match for Marriage? - Sadhguru on Dating & Relationships

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How to Choose the Right Woman for Marriage

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And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people. Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course.

Well, start by subtracting your age from So given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy? People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship.

Studies have shown people to be generally bad, when single, at predicting what later turn out to be their actual relationship preferences.

One study found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event. Unfortunately, not many people have a chance to be in more than a few, if any, serious relationships before they make their big decision.

Society has it all wrong and gives us terrible advice. No, when it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best.

In other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might be to those candidates. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way. But good old society frowns upon that, and people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site.

The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool. It makes no sense—the former is one step away from a happy marriage, while the latter must either settle for permanent unhappiness or endure a messy divorce just to catch up to where the single person is.

For a woman who wants to have biological children with her husband, she has one very real limitation in play, which is the need to pick the right life partner by forty, give or take. This is just a shitty fact and makes an already hard process one notch more stressful. A frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and a lot of people messing up the most important decision of their life.

Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner. Unfortunately, the way society is set up, fear starts infecting all kinds of otherwise-rational people, sometimes as early as the mid-twenties.

The types of fear our society and parents, and friends inflict upon us—fear of being the last single friend, fear of being an older parent, sometimes just fear of being judged or talked about—are the types that lead us to settle for a not-so-great partnership.

Externally-Influenced Ed lets other people play way too big a part in the life partner decision. The choosing of a life partner is deeply personal, enormously complicated, different for everyone, and almost impossible to understand from the outside, no matter how well you know someone.

Shallow Sharon is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. There are a bunch of boxes that she needs to have checked—things like his height, job prestige, wealth-level, accomplishments, or maybe a novelty item like being foreign or having a specific talent. This person cannot handle sacrifice or compromise. This person inevitably ends up with at best a super easy-going person, and at worst, a pushover with a self-esteem issue, and sacrifices a chance to be part of a team of equals, almost certainly limiting the potential quality of her marriage.

He wants a life partner who serves as both his therapist and biggest admirer, but is mostly uninterested in returning either favor. The issue for him is that by being incapable of tearing himself away from his personal world, he ends up with a sidekick as his life partner, which makes for a pretty boring 50 years.

So what makes a happy life partnership? If you liked this, check these out next:. To a frustrated single person, life can often feel like this: And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people.

So how big a deal is it? Intense shit. Well as it turns out, there are a bunch of factors working against us: People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship Studies have shown people to be generally bad, when single, at predicting what later turn out to be their actual relationship preferences. Fear-Driven Frida Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner. Externally-Influenced Ed Externally-Influenced Ed lets other people play way too big a part in the life partner decision.

Shallow Sharon Shallow Sharon is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. Previous Post. Next Post. October 8, April 11, October 21,

Choose Wisely: Your Guide to Finding the Right Person to Marry

Asking a woman to pick the 'right partner' in order to have a successful career is a bit outdated. Elsewhere in Japan, where arranged marriage was the norm before World War II, the institution is almost unknown now. Rebecca Traister, in her book All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, found that in , for the very first time in recorded history, the proportion of unmarried women exceeded the number of married women in the US.

I am writing a very important blog post just for you because it deals with picking the right partner for marriage. I believe the decision you make as to who you will marry is the second most important decision you will ever make.

If you decide to get married, it'll be one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. Ideally, this will be the woman you'll spend the rest of your life with. To find the right woman, you'll need to satisfy your own needs, show her the same respect you expect from her, and take practical matters of marriage into account. Does this person make you feel cared for? Jessica Engle, the director of Bay Area Dating Coach, says: "A romantic partner is our go-to person for our good times and bad times , and also for touch and comfort.

7 Reasons Why the Women Men Date Aren’t the Ones They Marry

But how do you know you want to marry someone? Usually, it's when we find someone who makes us ditch our bad habits and become better at being in a relationship than just being solo. That's when you start to realize that your partner is someone you could, and should, spend the rest of your life with. I realized she was marriage material when I found myself giving into her suggestions without putting up a fight. Rarely has it been a bad decision. Everything was about them. The first time I slept with my wife, she asked what she could do to make me feel good. It was like clockwork.

Opinion: Is finding the right partner still the most important career decision for a woman?

And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people. Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course. Well, start by subtracting your age from

It's a commonly asked question: "How do I know if I'm marrying the right person? Finding Miss or Mr.

His expertise lies in the field of market research and he applies his scientific skills to educate women with all they need to know about men. Here's an excerpt:. After looking it over for about fifteen minutes, Beth returned the report to my desk and told me I was a male chauvinist. I was taken aback for a moment.

Have You Found the One? 10 Signs Your Partner is Marriage Material

How do you choose the right woman to marry? So where does that leave you. How are you going to choose a wife and make sure you get it right first time? One said to me with slurred speech:.

About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And despite growing up in an era when the centuries-old mantra to get married young was finally and, it seemed, refreshingly replaced by encouragement to postpone that milestone in pursuit of high ideals education!

The reason why men marry some women and not others

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We at Bright Side decided to try and understand men's logic and find out the So, it seems that men don't wait for the “right woman” and whatever girl that is ready But as John T. Molloy (the author of the book Why Men Marry Some Woman.

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How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1

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