How can i stop my ex husband from harassing me
This is a post in our Behind the Screens series, which explores issues related to digital abuse. Breakups are a difficult time for any couple, but they can be an especially difficult and potentially dangerous time for survivors of abusive relationships. Technology and social media create new spaces where abuse can take place. This is called digital abuse , and it is just as unacceptable as any other form of abuse. They could hack into your email accounts or send unwanted emails, post unwanted messages or pictures on social media sites, or create fake profiles to harass you and people you know.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Is your ex harassing you through texts?
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Exes, Bad Breakups & Restraining OrdersContent:
- How Domestic Abusers Weaponize the Courts
- Behind the Screens: “Help! My Ex is Harassing Me Online”
- Your Options When Dealing With A Harassing Spouse or Ex-Spouse
- What to Do If Your Ex Is Stalking You
- Tell Me About It: I can’t cope with my ex-husband’s harassment
- What Can I Do if My Spouse Is Harassing Me During Our Divorce?
- Handling Harassment from a Co-Parent
- My soon-to-be-ex is threatening me: harassment, stalking and coercive control
- How Do I Get My Ex To Stop Harassing Me?
- How To Stop Ex-Husband Harassment
How Domestic Abusers Weaponize the Courts
By Jennifer M. Every divorced dad with kids, at some point during and after his divorce, will hear his ex-wife harassing him.
It may be a quibble over school grades, who is to take your son to soccer practice, whether your daughter needs to see a doctor, etc. It may be a constant stream of phone calls and texts about what needs to happen during your parenting time, who is around during your parenting time, whether the two of you agree on vacation time, and so forth. For some divorced dads, these are minor annoyances that they can deal with. For most divorced dads, however, they snowball and feel like, and often are, harassment that erodes your parenting time.
What can you do? Consult with your divorce attorney and consider these three options to stop your ex from harassing you :. What kinds of conditions you can include in yours is very state-specific, so be sure to consult with your attorney. Unlike a personal protection order, however, most police officers will not enforce these orders automatically with the threat of, or actual, arrest if your ex violates the terms.
Rather, you have to file a contempt action in the divorce court. So, if your safety is at risk, you should consider a personal protection order instead. On the other hand, this also means your ex cannot call the police claiming you violated the order or hold the threat of arrest over your head. The goal here is to streamline the process for communication to eliminate the potential for three phones calls, 10 texts, five emails and a call from your in-laws over the span of minutes over something innocuous.
In other words, this is an option you may want to consider if your ex has a habit of barraging you with questions and, intentionally or not, interrupting your parenting time. If phone calls inevitably lead to a yelling match about who-did-what-when, then texting may be more appropriate except, of course, for emergencies.
If texting leads to hours spent on your phone defining yourself, then limits on the number of texts, or emails, or an obligation to use a journal that your child should not see may be more appropriate. Or they will have friends and family contact you, Facebook message you, or drive by your home instead. For these particularly difficult exes, sometimes a middle-person to field questions, settle disputes, and arrange parenting time is best. Depending on your state, these folks are called parenting coordinators, post-judgment GALs, family counselors, etc.
Fees can be steep, but they are also less expensive then constant post-divorce litigation. Most of all, and this will take plenty of practice, learn to keep your patience. She, as do you during her parenting time, has lost control over your most important assets — your children — and learning how to cope takes time for both of you.
If the harassment continues, though, know that you do have options, and consult with your attorney to determine which are best for you.
Divorce Attorneys For Men. Jennifer M. If you have a custody agreement — stick to it exactly.. Keep it simple…there is a schedule and follow it. If your ex says your being inflexible.. A few times a year write to him with a prepared schedule you can find XCL calendar templates online and pdf it and also writing that the child is available and ready for visitation on his allocated times.
Kids need predictibility, stability……. I reside in MN. For the men who immediately go to court after a woman gives birth, I just want to advise that you are asking for such wrath to enter your life. Think about the recovery after birth and immediately you are stressing the woman. Dear God. What do you expect? Try compassion, support, hugs. Yes please serve to her needs. If after one year none of this helps then start court. But by the grace of Gods do not attack the woman for the child she grew and provided portal for as soon as the child is out and bloody!
Humans may be civilised but instinct still arises. If a year or 2 passes and things do not improve you have scorned the woman and then battle with law…but even for that a price will be paid. It was cheaper to keep her, love her, and take responsibility.
Now you suffer for creating when it should have been a beautiful thing to share children. Be careful who you procreate with and be careful of treacherous actions. My son is divorced with a three year old daughter which the exwife has custody of. Her lawyer during the divorce had my son sign sign papers saying he would take a drug test to see his daughter.
All because my son gave one of his prescribed pills to his cousin who would not leave him alone, until doing so. My son is having to pay for three drug tests a week now and cannot continue to do this. He is not a drug addict and works hard every day. He does not make enough money to pay for these tests and child support. He is distraught. I or my wife do not get to see our granddaughter either. Is there anyone we can go to?
All of the judges here are good friends with her lawyer so the courts here are really crooked. What are his and our options. Extremely irresponsible post. This is all a bunch of BS. Anything else is a waste of lawyer money. My current spouse has full custody of child between her and her ex and he sends harrassing texts and degrading texts constantly to her. WE have been to court 15 times and all the court does is fine him and he keeps on doing it. The only time a court will be useful is after your ex has physically assaulted you, or killed you.
Yay for the useless court system…. I had filed a temporary restraining order and it was granted the same day and 3 weeks later in court to determine to make it permanent, the magistrate laughed at me , threw my evidence in the trash and told me i dont have a case. This evidence was printed tests, emails regarding threats to me and my household, admitting to stalking by driving past my house and determining what time i got home each day etc.
This was in Medina OH. Im at wits end. The harassment still continues, and honestly i see why these things escalate into criminal if not felony issues, the court dismisses serious allegations until its too late. The court system doesnt work unless you have alot of money to throw at attorneys. I so agree…its like.. THEN they wil ldo something.. Abusive people can lie, cheat, steal, abuse their spouse and kids, and there are no repercussions in divorce court; you get the same parenting time, asset division, child support.
It just gets worse from there. For the usual control and drama issues, just parallel parent — there is no co-parenting in those cases. Also, reduce communication lines, do a lot of ignoring. But it can get a whole lot worse. I too have an ex husband who will not stop. He constantly calls my family friends etc.. DHS just anyone to ness with me or anyone who talks to me.
He loves to naoe my life miserable. Lord mive on get a life. You have the baby 16 yrs old. So raise her. Leave me alone. He harrasses people. I dont know how to get himto leave me alone. I never asked for a dime Just to be left alone. Ehy is it so hard? From moms antics. I did this and when I could relate, things got to were trust can to me again…..
Think outside the box your baby momma lives in and stuff gets easy I promise…. Good luck and screw GA your on your own there… God bless. The state of Florida granted her permanent alimony, she has her own business. How is the system fair? I too have similar issues, but perhaps over a longer period of time. Try to bare with me as I explain. My daughter is now 16, almost When she was born, mom did everything to prevent me from seeing my child.
After 4 years of hunting and trying to find them, I finally located them.
Behind the Screens: “Help! My Ex is Harassing Me Online”
By Lina Guillen , Attorney. Most stalking cases involve a previous relationship between the stalker and the victim. In fact, divorced or separated spouses are more likely than others to be stalked by their former partners. If your ex is stalking you, get the police and courts involved as soon as you begin to feel concern. Stalking is a serious crime and you are entitled to protection.
People can behave despicably after a breakup. There are deep feelings of hurt and loss to one or both which can be difficult to deal with. While this is certainly understandable it does not justify behaviour such as harassment, stalking and coercive control. The sad part is that this horrendous behaviour is not limited to breakups. Even within a marriage, people can use violence and intimidation against their spouse.
Your Options When Dealing With A Harassing Spouse or Ex-Spouse
What to Do If Your Ex Is Stalking You
After a breakup, litigation is often a way for harassers to force their victims to keep seeing them. D started to panic. Over the past two years, this harassment has been taking place in a courtroom. D is being identified by her first initial only, to protect her safety and privacy.
Given the mental and physical toll of divorce, it is not unusual for one parent to start harassing the other or even the children over parenting decisions, child custody, child support or visitation. In these cases, the non-harassing parent might decide that the divorce settlement needs to be changed. This can be done, but there are steps you can take while the legal process works itself out. Harassment can come in many forms, from verbal abuse to physical violence to stalking.
Tell Me About It: I can’t cope with my ex-husband’s harassment
Looking back on my experience, I was fairly naive. When I filed the paperwork for divorce from my ex-husband 14 years ago, I had no idea what to expect. What I learned is that the legal system is slow and flawed, but in the end harassment is a crime that should not be tolerated under any circumstances, and following the law is the only way to go if you want lasting results in ending the madness. While all divorces and ex-husbands are different, and have their own circumstances and characteristics, I was lucky to have a good legal team early on to help me along the way through the minutiae.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 8 Tips for Dealing with a Harassing Ex
The incidents must be related so they become a course of conduct , not two isolated incidents. The further apart the incidents are, the less likely there is to be an offence of harassment. However, all the circumstances of the incident will be taken into account when determining if an offence has been committed. The law uses a "reasonable person" test. Basically, this means that if it was felt that a person of reasonable firmness i.
What Can I Do if My Spouse Is Harassing Me During Our Divorce?
By Jennifer M. Every divorced dad with kids, at some point during and after his divorce, will hear his ex-wife harassing him. It may be a quibble over school grades, who is to take your son to soccer practice, whether your daughter needs to see a doctor, etc. It may be a constant stream of phone calls and texts about what needs to happen during your parenting time, who is around during your parenting time, whether the two of you agree on vacation time, and so forth. For some divorced dads, these are minor annoyances that they can deal with. For most divorced dads, however, they snowball and feel like, and often are, harassment that erodes your parenting time.
Some people are more ready to move on from past relationships than others. The law recognizes this and provides a few ways of legally dealing with harassment if your ex keeps hammering you with unwanted contact. Restraining orders -- sometimes called orders of protection -- are typically reserved for people who have been in intimate relationships with their tormentors, so if your ex-spouse is bothering you, you would qualify. Your ex must also have physically harmed you or threatened you with harm. If this is the case, the judge can often include custody and visitation terms in the restraining order if you have children, and include provisions that can help you avoid crossing paths with him more often than is absolutely necessary.
Handling Harassment from a Co-Parent
Q I have been divorced for the past five years and in general am happy with my life, but one difficulty is the continuing interference of my ex-husband. Originally he was the one seeking separation as he felt he was not getting enough attention and love from me and, even though I did not want to separate we have four children , I eventually saw that it was hopeless and agreed to it. The divorce was tough and I thought that when we finally signed the document I would be free of all the antagonism but it has continued.
My soon-to-be-ex is threatening me: harassment, stalking and coercive control
Sign Up. No matter which way you look at it, ending a relationship is never easy. Some co-parents have no problem staying friends after a breakup while others struggle to speak ever again.
How Do I Get My Ex To Stop Harassing Me?
How To Stop Ex-Husband Harassment