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How to find a polygamist husband

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For generations, anthropologists have told their students a fairly simple story about polyandry—the socially recognized mating of one woman to two or more males. The story has gone like this:. While we can find a cluster of roughly two dozen societies on the Tibetan plateau in which polyandry exists as a recognized form of mating, those societies count as anomalous within humankind. And because polyandry doesn't exist in most of the world, if you could jump into a time machine and head back thousands of years, you probably wouldn't find polyandry in our evolutionary history.

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Polyandry is another form of polygamy in which women practice having two or more husbands. Most countries which permit polygyny are Muslim-majority countries. In some countries where polygamy is illegal but polygyny is still a cultural norm, and sometimes even in countries where polygamy is legal, men sometimes have one or more mistresses.

The status of a mistress is not that of a wife, and any children born of such relationships were or sometimes are considered illegitimate and subject to legal disadvantage.

Higher incidences of adultery and prostitution are found in regions where the first marriage in a practicing polygynous society is postponed by males. Today, polygyny is more widespread in Africa than in any other continent. Throughout the African polygyny belt stretching from Senegal in the west to Tanzania in the east, as many as a third to a half of married women are in polygynous unions, and polygyny is found especially in West Africa.

In the Indian subcontinent , it was known to have been practiced during ancient times. Boserup [2] was the first to propose that the high incidence of polygyny in sub-Saharan Africa is rooted in the sexual division of labor in hoe-farming and the large economic contribution of women. In some regions of shifting cultivation where polygyny is most frequently recorded, labor is often starkly divided between genders.

In many of these cases, the task of felling trees in preparation of new plots, the fencing of fields against wild animals, and sometimes the initial planting of crops, is usually done by men and older boys along with hunting, fishing and the raising of livestock. Boserup notes that though the work completed by women calculates for a larger percentage of the tasks that form the basis of sub-Saharan life, women often do not receive the majority portion of the benefits that tag along with economic and agricultural success.

An elderly cultivator, with several wives and likely several young male children, benefits from having a much larger workforce within his household. By the combined efforts of his young sons and young wives, he may gradually expand his cultivation and become more prosperous. A man with a single wife has less help in cultivation and is likely to have little or no help for felling trees. According to Boserup's historical data, women living in such a structure also welcome one or more co-wives to share with them the burden of daily labor.

However, the second wife will usually do the most tiresome work, almost as if she were a servant to the first wife, and will be inferior to the first wife in status. Polygyny is considered an economic advantage in many rural areas. In some cases, the economic role of the additional wife enables the husband to enjoy more leisure. Anthropologist Jack Goody 's comparative study of marriage around the world, using the Ethnographic Atlas , demonstrated a historical correlation between the practice of extensive shifting horticulture and polygyny in the majority of Sub-Saharan African societies.

This favored polygamous marriages in which men sought to monopolize the production of women "who are valued both as workers and as child bearers.

Goody's observation regarding African male farming systems is discussed and supported by anthropologists Douglas R.

White and Michael L. Burton in "Causes of Polygyny: Ecology, Economy, Kinship, and Warfare", [14] where the authors note: "Goody argues against the female contributions hypothesis.

He notes Dorjahn's comparison of East and West Africa, showing higher female agricultural contributions in East Africa and higher polygyny rates in West Africa, especially in the West African savanna, where one finds especially high male agricultural contributions. Goody says, "The reasons behind polygyny are sexual and reproductive rather than economic and productive" , arguing that men marry polygynously to maximize their fertility and to obtain large households containing many young dependent males.

An analysis by James Fenske found that child mortality and ecologically-related economic shocks had a stronger association with rates of polygamy in Subsaharan Africa rather than female agricultural contributions which are typically relatively small in the West African savanna and sahel, where polygyny rates are higher , finding that polygyny rates decrease significantly with child mortality rates.

Most research into the determinants of polygyny has focused on macro-level factors. Widespread polygyny is linked to the kinship groups that share descent from a common ancestor. According to scientific studies, the human mating system is considered to be moderately polygynous, based both on surveys of world populations, [20] [21] and on characteristics of human reproductive physiology. Scholars have argued that in farming systems where men do most of the agriculture work, a second wife can be an economic burden rather than an asset.

In order to feed an additional wife, the husband must either work harder himself or he must hire laborers to do part of the work. In such regions, polygyny is either non-existent or is a luxury which only a small minority of rich farmers can indulge.

A report by the secretariat of the UN Economic Commission for Africa ECA quotes: "one of the strongest appeals of polygyny to men in Africa is precisely its economic aspect, for a man with several wives commands more land, can produce more food for his household and can achieve a high status due to the wealth which he can command".

Under this tenure system, an additional wife is an economic asset that helps the family to expand its production. Polygynous countries usually have a higher fertility rate, fewer savings reserves, and a lower GDP. Polygynous societies have a higher concentration of men investing into methods of mating with women, whereas monogamous men invest more into their families and other related institutions. Despite the expenses of polygynous marriages, men benefit from marrying multiple wives through the economic and social insurance that kinship ties produce.

With a large network of in-laws, these men have the ties they need to compensate for other economic shortages. Some analysts have posited that a high libido may be a factor in polygyny, [27] although others have downplayed its significance.

In this case, it would be hard to determine whether the origins were that of high libido, as polygyny would be practiced regardless. Other explanations postulate that polygyny is a tool used to ward off inclinations towards infidelity. Of the 1, societies listed in the Ethnographic Atlas, were found to be monogamous; had occasional polygyny; had more frequent polygyny; and 4 had polyandry.

Other research shows that polygyny is widely practiced where societies are destabilized, more violent, more likely to invade neighbors and more likely to fail.

In the top 20 countries in the Fragile States Index , polygyny is widely practiced. In a doctoral thesis, anthropologist Kyle R. Gibson reviewed three studies documenting 1, suicide attacks from to and found that countries with higher polygyny rates correlated with greater production of suicide terrorists. Hudson and Bradley Thayer have argued that because Islam is the only major religious tradition where polygyny is still largely condoned , the higher degrees of marital inequality in Islamic countries than most of the world causes them to have larger populations susceptible to suicide terrorism, and that promises of harems of virgins for martyrdom serves as a mechanism to mitigate in-group conflict within Islamic countries between alpha and non-alpha males by bringing esteem to the latter's families and redirecting their violence towards out-groups.

Inequality between husbands and wives are common in countries where polygyny is more frequently practiced because of limited education. In Africa polygyny was believed to be part of the way to build an empire. It was not until the post colonialism era in Africa that polygyny began to be viewed as unjust or taboo.

According to Natali Exposito, "in a study of the Ngwa Igbo Clan in Nigeria identified five principal reasons for men to maintain more than one wife: because having more than one wife allows the Ngwa husband to 1 have the many children that he desires; 2 heighten his prestige and boost his ego among his peers; 3 enhance his status within the community; 4 ensure a sufficient availability of labor to perform the necessary farm work and the processing of commercial oil-palm produce; and 5 satisfy his sexual urges.

In Egypt, feminists have fought for polygamy to be abolished, but it is viewed as a basic human right so the fight has been unsuccessful. In countries where polygyny is practiced less frequently, women have more equality in the marriage and are better able to communicate their opinions about family planning.

Women participating in polygynous marriages share common marital problems with women in a monogamous marriage; however, there are issues uniquely related to polygyny which affects their overall life satisfaction and have severe implications for women's health. Some view polygyny as a means to prevent men from taking random sexual partners and potentially introducing STDs into relationships.

Interviews conducted with some of the Logoli tribe in Kenya suggested they feared polygynous marriages because of what they have witnessed in the lives of other women who are currently in such relationships. The observed experiences of some of the women in polygynous unions tend to be characterized by frequent jealousy, conflicts, competition, tensions, and psychological stresses.

Some of the husbands fail to share love and other resources equally; and envy and hatred, and sometimes violent physical confrontations become the order of the day among co-wives and their children. This discourages women from entering a polygynous marriage. Findings show that the wife order can affect life satisfaction. According to Bove and Valeggia, women who are senior wives often misuse their position to obtain healthcare benefits in countries one wife can become a recipient.

The conflict between co-wives can attribute to the higher rates of mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and paranoia. Various methods have been used to reduce the amount of jealousy and conflict among wives. These include sororal polygyny, in which the co-wives are sisters; and hut polygyny, in which each wife has her own residence and the husband visits them in rotation.

A clear status hierarchy among wives is also sometimes used to avoid fighting by establishing unequivocally each wife's rights and obligations. Also, wives share companionship and support with co-wives. Studies show there are two mechanisms that could lead to higher prevalence rates of HIV in men and women who are in polygynous unions: partners in polygynous unions have more extra-marital relationships and thus increase each other's exposure to HIV; women who are recruited into a polygynous union are more likely to be HIV positive than those who marry a monogamous husband.

The ecological association between polygyny and HIV prevalence is shown to be negative at the sub-national level. HIV prevalence tends to be lower in countries where the practice of polygyny is common, and within countries it is lower in areas with higher levels of polygyny. Proposed explanations for the protective effect of polygyny include the distinctive structure of sexual networks produced by polygyny, the disproportionate recruitment of HIV positive women into marriages with a polygynous husband, and the lower coital frequency in conjugal dyads of polygynous marriages.

The long-established criticism against polygyny stemmed from Thomas Aquinas nearly eight centuries ago. He contended that polygyny is unjust to wives and children. Polygyny has been criticized by feminists such as Professor John O. Ifediora, who believes that women should be equal to men and not subject to them in marriage. Professor Ifediora also believes that polygyny is a "hindrance to social and economic development" in the continent of Africa due to women's lack of financial control.

To leave the marriage, women must repay their bride price. Though this is simple in thought, this is not simple in execution. To prevent their wives from leaving, husbands will often keep the bride price at high levels, which is often at an unpayable level for women. Polygyny occurred even in areas of where monogamy was prevalent.

Wealth played a key role in the development of family life during these times. Wealth meant the more powerful men had a principal wife and several secondary wives, known as resource polygyny. Local rulers of villages usually had the most wives as a sign of power and status. Conquerors of villages would often marry the daughters of the former leaders as a symbol of conquest. The practice of resource polygyny continued with the spread and expansion of Islam in Africa and Southeast Asia.

Children born into these households were considered free. Children born to free or slave concubines were free, but had lesser status than those born to wives.

Living arrangements varied between areas. In Africa, each wife usually had their own house, as well as property and animals. The idea that all property was owned by the husband originated in Europe and was not recognized in Africa.

In many other parts of the world, wives lived together in seclusion, under one household. A harem also known as a forbidden area was a special part of the house for the wives. Polygynous marriage was preferred among the Logoli and other Abalulya sub ethnic groups. Taking additional wives was regarded as one of the fundamental indicators of a successfully established man. Large families enhanced the prestige of Logoli men. Logoli men with large families were also capable of obtaining justice, as they would be feared by people, who would not dare to use force to take their livestock or other goods from them.

Interviews with some of the contemporary Logoli men and women who recently made polygynous marriages yielded data which suggest that marrying another wife is usually approached with considerable thought and deliberation by the man. It may or may not involve or require the consent of the other wives and prospective wife's parents. A type of " surrogate pregnancy " arrangement was reported to have been observed, in which some wives who are unable to bear children, find fulfillment in the children and family provided by a husband taking additional wives.

This Is How a Polygamist Family Actually Operates (Including How Sleep Arrangements Work)

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Polygamy , marriage to more than one spouse at a time. The most typical forms of polygamy have been polygyny, in which cowives share a husband, or polyandry , in which cohusbands share a wife.

Polyandry is another form of polygamy in which women practice having two or more husbands. Most countries which permit polygyny are Muslim-majority countries. In some countries where polygamy is illegal but polygyny is still a cultural norm, and sometimes even in countries where polygamy is legal, men sometimes have one or more mistresses. The status of a mistress is not that of a wife, and any children born of such relationships were or sometimes are considered illegitimate and subject to legal disadvantage. Higher incidences of adultery and prostitution are found in regions where the first marriage in a practicing polygynous society is postponed by males.

From Big Love to the Big House: Justifying Anti-Polygamy Laws in an Age of Expanding Rights

Chaiwala, who is now 33 and lives in the city of Sunderland, UK, said that was the moment he knew he wanted more than one wife. Today, 11 years later and two children into his first marriage, he still feels the same way. With a busy schedule and little luck on his own, Chaiwala decided to create a website for himself, and other men like him, looking for their next wife. The site gained so much traction that Chaiwala followed it up with Polygamy. With over k combined users in countries around the world including 2, active users in Canada , Chaiwala's latest move is to launch a Google Play app for SecondWife. Of course, these marriages are not legally recognized in Canada, nor in many other countries. Section of the Criminal Code of Canada explicitly prohibits polygamy, and offenders could face up to five years in prison. The UK and US have similar laws.

Polygamists Are Using An App to Find Their ‘Second Wife’

Polygamist families consist of one man married to several wives, and all of them plus the children live under the same roof. Kody Brown has a unique family. Polygamy is not usually just a man suddenly deciding he wants another wife. While that does happen, a lot of polygamist families actually search for wives together.

When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, sociologists call this polygyny.

Gini Chase is looking for a sisterwife. Since she met her husband, Randy, at a nightclub 17 years ago, the pair have enjoyed a string of, as she puts it, "threesomes and moresomes and crazy sex". Recently, however, they have been after something more serious: a partner to join them on a permanent basis.

When Taking Multiple Husbands Makes Sense

Polygyny , the marriage of a man and two or more women at the same time, includes an analogous sororal form. Polyandrous cultures have devised several methods through which to designate the ancestry of the children of such marriages. In fraternal polyandry, the children are often said to be descended from the eldest brother alone, while in other cases fatherhood is established through a ceremony or the children are said to have descended from all the husbands equally. A related form of marital union, sometimes called secondary marriage, obtains when a married woman cohabits with a man other than her husband without having terminated the marriage by annulment or divorce.

Updated: October 19, References. Polygamists are people who have more than one spouse. Polygamy is banned in the United States, as well as most developed countries, though it is quite common in other parts of the world. Log in Facebook. No account yet?

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Feb 1, - While we can find a cluster of roughly two dozen societies on the Tibetan plateau in The Real Polygamous, Feminist Wives of Salt Lake City.

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