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Looking for girlfriend > Asians > I dont want to be a jealous girlfriend

I dont want to be a jealous girlfriend

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Do you feel jealous when your girlfriend hangs out with her male friends? Do you feel insecure when she interacts with her hot boss at work? Or are you paranoid about her relationship with her so-called best male friend? Now, if you want to stop being a jealous boyfriend and maintain a healthy relationship with your girlfriend, read these 12 tips to help you curb it. Establish boundaries ahead of time. And it will be easier to sort through your feelings later on when you feel jealous.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship - You'll Be Surprised

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12 Ways to Stop being a Jealous Boyfriend

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I really love my girlfriend. Out of all the girlfriends that I've had, she's the best. We get along very well on most matters and I have almost no complaints about her. I am considered to be good company by most people, especially at work and in my family. I really like to talk, laugh, and maintain a fun environment for everybody around me. But she really doesn't like it when I laugh with other women.

In respect, I like to avoid talking with other girls or women, just to not make her sad or mad at me. She doesn't talk with any other guys either, in respect for me. But things get serious when she gets upset even if I talk about anything with my family aunts and cousins.

I have to force myself to be serious and show that I do not want to talk to them because otherwise she gets very angry and we start to argue.

I have never given her any reason to distrust me, since I am very transparent in what I do, in what I feel, and in what I think, and I let her have access to everything in my life. She does the same too. We think that if there is nothing to hide there is nothing to worry about. I can't go to take a ride on my motorcycle without telling her all the time where I am. If I stay about 1 or a half hour without sending any feedback, she get's very angry.

She does the same if she goes to any place: She sends me photos and always tells where she is and with whom. There's an important point: I'm the first boyfriend of her life. I don't know if this has an influence on something.

This behavior should be a big, Big , BIG warning sign for you. Whether she simply likes to be in control, has insecurities due to bad previous experiences with other partners, etc. It is not at all acceptable that you should be reporting on your every coming and going. It is also completely unacceptable that she would give you any sort of attitude when you're simply speaking to other women especially female relatives - that is incredibly alarming.

You may think that acquiescing to her requests is simply keeping the peace, and will help to build trust, but in my own experience, if you give in in these situations, her behavior will likely only escalate. How long before she demands access to text messages, chats, or emails? Where would you draw the line when you've previously only ever given in to her demands? The second you refuse her it will constitute - in her eyes - proof of something nefarious, and she will double down on her efforts likely starting a fight.

Instead, have a very honest conversation with her. Here are the rules of the conversation, as it were:. I'd like for us to have the sort of relationship where either of us can broach a topic, and expect the other to honestly, and calmly listen. Neither of us is perfect; there are bound to be other difficult conversation in our future, and I'd like to know that we can get through them like adults. I'd like to take this up again when you've calmed down, and I hope that you'll be a little more willing to engage with me.

Now that we've established that, bring up everything that's been troubling you. Don't accuse her of anything. Simply be factual:. I understand that you were cheated on in the past, but I am not the person who did that to you, and I would like to not be treated as if I were.

Here's an analogy for you: would it be OK for her to hit you simply because she's upset or angry? What about the other way around? Not cool, right? Using our feelings as an excuse for poor behavior is OK when you're 7, but unacceptable as an adult. It doesn't fly in a court of law, and it shouldn't fly in a relationship. But what it all really comes down to is what are you willing to do in order to enforce these boundaries in your relationship?

And that's the rub. If she gets very upset and gives you grief because you didn't "check in" while you were out one evening, trying to appease her would send the wrong message. Instead, you should tell her that she has no reason to be upset, and let her come out of her funk on her own. This will likely lead to accusations of you not caring about her, the relationship, or her feelings to which you should calmly reply:.

On the contrary, I care about you, and our relationship very much. I want it to be based on a foundation of mutual respect, honesty and trust, and I'm afraid that you're not behaving as if you trust me at all. If you want us to last, you have to stop trying to control me, or shame me into feeling guilty because I don't do exactly as you please. That is dishonest and manipulative. This will likely be a long and arduous journey, and will involve not one, but likely many heated conversations or full out fights.

If your relationship survives these, then it will be much stronger and healthier for it. However, if she continues to try and exert dominance over you in this manner, you would be much, much better off finding someone else.

As a woman, I can tell you that this behavior is very alarming and not normal. Your GF has some major issues to work out and is very insecure with herself.

She is also manipulating you into getting her way by saying things like "how would you like it if i was flirting with another guy That isn't what you are doing.

You are talking to friends and family. I would advise her that she needs to work on her issues with a therapist or that the relationship is pretty much doomed. This isn't a problem you can fix! She probably has no business dating anyone, unless they are also very insecure and willing to put up with that silliness. Sorry you are in that position! I also agree with the poster who mentioned she might be cheating. People who are cheaters are often very suspicious of their partners doing the same thing.

But it sounds more likely to me that she was probably cheated on in the past or just had a number of other things happen to get to this place of being very insecure.

Being insecure isn't a dealbreaker, we all have some of this. But jealousy and manipulation to that extent definitely are! But I'm seeing a lot of hostility towards jealousy in the thread, but jealousy is a completely natural emotion. In her case it's very strong obviously, but what that means is that she needs to learn to manage her jealousy, and she might actually need some help.

Her behavior looks to me inadvertent and non-malicious, but more one of a lack of maturity on the topic. Now that you've set the boundaries, you can choose your role in her self-help process. One way is to remain on the sideline and leave her on her own to figure it out, and just continue doing what you're doing. That's the easier way for you. The other way, is to have compassion, and realize that she needs some help.

If you are willing to spend the time and energy for it, then you can assist her by searching into the matter, finding books regarding how to manage your jealousy , seeking professional help like therapy videos and sessions, and guiding her to get through these professional sources.

Judging from you saying that you really like her a lot, I think you might side with the second way. The first step is for her to acknowledge the problem at hand - e.

If she's in denial, then you need to first get her to acknowledge it by using examples of her past behavior, until she realizes something's "off". Honey, I'm noticing that you have very strong reactions when I'm with other girls, I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes, but I know that deep down inside you trust my judgement and I trust yours. I think it's normal to feel jealousy, but in your case I think you're feeling a little bit too much of it.

Would you like to work together to find a solution and learn to manage your jealousy? Step 2 - She agrees to it, now it's time to help her equip herself with tools to manage her jealousy. You're not a psychologist, and you must understand that you might not be the best person to assist her. However, as her boyfriend, you can definitely help her seek some professional help, therapy, books she can read on that subject, videos.

There are tons of respectable videos by professionals where the subject is discussed, with exercises, perspective, solutions, ideas. So without being a psychologist yourself, you can still assist her in helping her to equip herself with tools to manage her jealousy. A good practice is to have follow up meetings, and discuss progress. What happened the previous week, month?

Does she feels better and more in control? Do you feel better? Are things getting better overall? Take some notes of what you guys discussed. And re-read them next time to see the progression, as being under the influence of emotions can distort things a lot. Emotions are a fact of life and can't be ignored, but we can learn to manage them through therapy and life perspective.

You're not a professional therapist, but you can take on the role of her guide to try and help her learn to manage her own jealousy, so it doesn't annoy you in the future. She will respect you for the rest of her life for having spent the time to help her understand and manage her jealousy. Some elements of your situation remind me of Dr.

How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship

Jealousy is a natural emotion but it can hurt your relationships if it gets out of control. Deal with your jealous feelings by figuring out where they come from and why they develop. Do your best to communicate openly with your partner to avoid misunderstandings and to reduce your feelings of insecurity. Enjoy being in love but make sure to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being as well.

Can you offer some healthy advice to me? I am a male, 23, going to Brazil in a month for a job and for my very dear and lovely new relationship with my girlfriend, whom I met when I was there five months ago.

Get expert help with controlling your jealousy. Click here to chat online to someone right now. Ahhh, the jealous mind in action. I know you have because why else would you be reading this article? It can prevent us from immersing ourselves into relationships, be they intimate or purely platonic.

Build a relationship based on trust

No one enjoys feeling jealous. Yet, jealousy is an inevitable emotion that pretty much every one of us will experience. It can be frightening to experience what happens when we allow our jealousy to overpower us or to shape the way we feel about ourselves and the world around us. Unsurprisingly, studies have shown that increased jealousy correlates with lower self-esteem. As she and her father Dr. It perpetuates destructive thoughts and feelings, driving us to compare, evaluate and judge ourselves and often others with great scrutiny. This is one reason why learning how to deal with jealousy is so important. This voice can fuel our feelings of jealousy by filling our heads with critical and suspicious commentary.

8 Ways to Get Over Your Jealousy and Save Your Relationship

Recognize when you are being a jealous weirdo. A lot of the time when you feel jealous, you'll start little arguments or say passive-aggressive things rather than talking about what's actually bothering you. For me, it's responding to everything he says with, "Yeah, you would do that. If you can acknowledge, "Oh, I'm really jealous right now because you were talking to a girl at the bar last night and it made me feel weird," that's an important first step.

Try these: time management relationship advice healthy lifestyle money wealth success leadership psychology.

Sounds romantic, right? Not really. The truth is, many individuals who have been in a relationship with someone who easily gets jealous can tell you that while it can be sweet and cute sometimes, too much of this can already be toxic.

The Truth About Being The Jealous Girlfriend (Because It’s More Than Just Being Clingy)

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Sometimes when women are in relationships, they become super possessive of their partners and it can turn into some really ugly jealous behaviors. These forms of jealousy are just plain childish and they need to stop immediately. Relationships are about trust, and when jealous behaviors begin to peek through, it never results in anything good. You lose sight of what you actually have when you start to doubt the security of your relationship. There might be a handful of guys who actually feed off jealousy and find it flattering, but for the most part, no one finds this cute in any way. You need figure your stuff out and learn how to be more secure and confident in yourself, which should nip any jealousy issues in the bud.

11 Tips For Being Less Jealous In Your Relationship & Feeling More Secure

A hint of jealously here and there in a relationship might be no big deal, but what happens when jealously starts to completely take over? Many times beneath the feelings of jealously in a relationship are our own insecurities — and this could either be personal insecurities you have regarding yourself, or perhaps insecurities you feel when comparing yourself to others. The ongoing comparisons are not only unnecessary ; they might also end up eating you alive. Beyond those insecurities we just discussed, there may possibly be other issues you're battling internally that could be leading you to feel and act in a jealous manner. For example, if you were betrayed in a previous relationship you may now think that your current relationship will be a replay of this. Knowing where your trust issues derive from can help you grow. According to love coach Kavita J.

May 11, - A guy kissing the cheek of his jealous girlfriend, and explaining she Think about it—if you see a future with her, you don't want jealousy to be.

Do you know that you can be overly jealous? Do you get anxious when your man is talking to other women? Do you often go through his phone, email or social media looking for clues?

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Comments: 1
  1. Malazilkree

    It agree, it is an excellent idea

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