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Why does my boyfriend treat me so bad

When a guy blows you off by you I mean me , it's tempting to want to get back at him and make him feel guilty for his behavior. The thinking goes, Oh, I would walk away, but he can't treat people like this. He certainly can't treat ME like this. Someone has to show him. What I've learned the hard way is you can't force someone feel the way you want them to.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: This is why he treats you like crap! What to do when he treats you poorly 🙅‍♀️

The Real Reason Your Guy Treats You Like Crap

When a guy blows you off by you I mean me , it's tempting to want to get back at him and make him feel guilty for his behavior. The thinking goes, Oh, I would walk away, but he can't treat people like this. He certainly can't treat ME like this.

Someone has to show him. What I've learned the hard way is you can't force someone feel the way you want them to. You may want him to feel remorseful. You may want him to feel as bad as he made you feel. But take it from me: It's not possible. You can take a Louisville Slugger to both of his headlights and with sufficient evidence, he can press charges , but that won't make him rethink the way he treated you. It will piss him off. He will call you crazy and he might even re-aim his anger in your direction.

Then it becomes a volley of revenge -- each of you feeling completely justified in your behavior -- but he's still not feeling any contrition. It's possible that at some point, he'll feel bad about the way he treated you, but he will do so in his own time. When I was a sophomore in college I was sleeping with a guy, Archie, who had a girlfriend, Betty. Naturally, I was unhappy about the existence of said girlfriend. It's hard to feel sorry for me, though, I know. I'm not asking for sympathy.

I was 19 years old and wholeheartedly believed I was doing what I needed to do to get him to be with me exclusively. Eventually, Archie and Betty broke up, but it wasn't because of his infidelity; she had no knowledge of that. I'm not sure what happened, but they were through. I didn't rejoice, as it was past the point of my interest; I'd fallen hard for another person. I was, nonetheless, perturbed when Archie told me over Christmas break that he and Betty had reconnected, were working things out and were going to start over in the New Year.

I thought about it for a minute, and said, "No. I couldn't inflict that pain on him, though, because he didn't feel for me the way he felt for Betty. The only logical thing for me to do, I reasoned, was to make it so he couldn't have Betty. Knowing he had little choice, he told her himself. She was crushed, but not for long.

She took him back shortly thereafter. I did not like this new development at all. Fortunately, I had another piece of damning information. He had also slept with a good friend of Betty's, Veronica. This time, I didn't bother to give him a heads up that I was going to let Betty know, I just did.

Guess who got blamed for the whole thing? This girl right here. It was all my fault. Archie said I ruined his life. Betty said I ruined her life. I have no idea if Veronica was held accountable.

I was not an innocent bystander by any means, but I was also not the one being unfaithful. The two of them stayed together. My plan backfired and my ego was crushed under its own weight.

I was out of revenge tactics, so there was nothing left to do but feel the pain of the whole situation. Years later, Archie got in touch and asked if he could see me. Within the first hour, he offered an unexpected avalanche of apologies. He went through every incident and apologized. He also asked me if I would consider dating him. Without hesitation I said, "No. I thought, Really, you want to date me now? The best way to let a guy know he cannot treat you badly is to walk away.

Don't look back. Walking away doesn't make you a doormat -- standing there and continuing to put yourself in his path does. Focus on your life and don't waste energy figuring out how to teach him a lesson. Let life do that for you. At some point his behavior might tap him on the shoulder and say, "You have to face me now.

Serial killer Ted Bundy once said, "I don't feel guilty for anything. I feel sorry for people who feel guilt. Whether or not he feels bad can't be your concern, though; concentrate on your own healing. By the time this apology came my way I didn't need it anymore.

I am grateful Archie extended it, but I would have gone on my merry way regardless. Excerpted from Loves Me Not: How to Survive and Thrive! Excerpted with permission by February Books. US Edition U. Coronavirus News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Women. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Calling all HuffPost superfans!

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A Former A**hole Answers for His Bad Behavior

I have become completely dependent upon him for my happiness. The thing is, I know he treats me horribly. He loves to call me stupid and he gets angry at me now for practically no reason at all.

I receive hundreds of letters every week. I work to decrypt things and shine the proverbial light on the middle-of-the-road truth.

We're always hoping for the classic story of 'boy meets girl, boy chases girl, girl lets him catch her, and they live happily ever after. We feel desired and wanted and worthy and that makes us feel like we've got it going on. Suddenly, everything changes. The conquest is over.

Why Trying to Make a Guy Feel Guilty for Mistreating You Is a Waste of Time

I receive hundreds of letters every week. And let's be real. Men and women in healthy relationships aren't the ones writing to ask me for relationship advice. Often, the answers are highly individualized, so I get into the nitty-gritty details with those who write in, decrypting things and shining the proverbial light on the middle-of-the-road truth. But it saddens me that one of the most commonly asked questions I receive is this: "Why does he treat me so badly? I feel like my husband hates me. Let's get something out of the way: I'm not talking about women writing in about physically abusive relationships.

10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship

You walk all over me. The fact that you think you can take advantage of me proves how little you care. Instead, you would want to protect me. You knowingly put me in situations that you knew would cause me pain. You have no regard for my feelings and in reality, all you are is my source of daily pain.

I used to treat some women pretty terribly. I was an a-hole, and it was at least vaguely intentional.

The truth will give you courage and strength…if you let it. In a good relationship, you feel sure of your boyfriend without constantly having to ask for reassurance or approval. You feel accepted, loved, and secure in your love for him and his for you.

Why He Treats You the Way He Does

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Oct 19, - Truth be told, my divorce was the catalyst that showed me that I was attracting One of the key things to consider is: how do you treat yourself? But if he or she values you, gives you compliments, and encourages you to do.

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I Let My Boyfriend Treat Me Badly

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Comments: 3
  1. Neshicage

    In my opinion you commit an error. I can prove it.

  2. Gale

    You are right.

  3. Mezitaur

    I apologise, that I can help nothing. I hope, to you here will help. Do not despair.

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